ya know, i might be drunk when i post this but I still need to...I'm tired of hearin how I am a has been around the area I bowl in. I know that I probably am but my true friends are out in the good ol LU. Chase (forumjesus) knows how I was back in the day...but I consider myself a hasbeen. So just chime in on how I'm supposed to deal with everyday life knowing that I have everything else in my life going well for me other than the most important to me and that would be bowling...just thought I would throw that out there for all my friends to help out a friend that would be there for you...
Joshua W. Smith
__________________
you know who i am and if ya don't well then ya dont know me
Sorry bowling is not going good for you right now. Probably not the best thing to rotate you life around though. There have been times when I couldn't bowl anywhere near decent. You just have to hang in there and keep doing what you love.
sorry that you seem to be down in the dumps but ill try to help out
1. josh was a pretty good bowler. probably still is, its just that you are so f*cked up (sry josh) mentally, every little thing sets something off inside of you and that could be why youre not bowling well (and/or acting well as a human) you let things get to you way to easilly and deep.
2. drinking isnt helping you and it wont help you
3. i'd probably go and try to get help... i know doctors suck but whats the worst that can happen? you'll get put on some type of anti-depressants most likely and you'll end up feeling better... yeah that would totally suck.
4. dont get a gf in your life right now... you think youre messed up currently? dont even try to start a relationship or all hell will break loose for you emotionally.
5. if youre still in school, great. concentrate on gettin the flip out. maybe when you get a pretty decent job, it will distract you from your "misery" and youll start to feel better about yourself.
6. bowling... i really dont know what to tell you here. keep at it. screw what ppl say about your game... everyone has a mouth and are entitled to use it and we all have ears and we can select what we want to hear and dont want to hear.
im sure ppl talk ish on me all the time about something or another... i know im not the greatest person in the world... matter of fact i know i'm pretty obnoxious at times. i've been this way since i started highschool and dont plan on changing because college just seems to be a continuation of it... but so what. i'm nice to those who matter.
if you are unhappy with life find something that makes you happy (with the exception of alcohol/smoking) or lean towards the "getting help" sides of things. other wise it kinda sounds like youre on a downward spiral dude. maybe im reading into the situation too much... but if youre getting that down on yourself dont wait around till its too late. theres plenty of ppl that care about you out there...
and i know you and your parents arent the best of friends, but i dont think your pops and mammadukes would like to get a phone call from the police at 2am tellin them that their one and only son is in a bodybag. dont be all suicidal dude.. its not worth it. i keep Donny's obituary by my side almost at all times as a reminder when i get depressed not to do what he did... he left so many ppl behind.
so i dont think you need to give up the ghost just yet.
keep your head up josh if u need anything feel free to call/write/parachute in
chase
__________________
"You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls." --Stephen Colbert
I'm not the world's best at giving advice but since I figure I might be able to help some. I agree with Chase though. From what I know about you, you do tend to let relatively small things get to you. I feel like the pot and I'm calling the kettle black because I can be the same way.
My best advice is when things go wrong, don't blame yourself for it. Try to take a step back and look at what really happened and WHY. Using bowling as an example....if you throw a great shot and stone a ten pin, don't get upset about it and instead look and think about what happened....did the ball come in flat? was a pin set off center? Things like that.
That can be applied to life as well, not just bowling or sports in general. It's hard not to blame yourself, trust me I know. But remember not everything is your fault. Sometimes things just happen or they aren't meant to be at that time. Doesn't mean it will always be that way...it just is at that moment.
Use what you love to make life enjoyable again. Ok so you aren't bowling well right now. I am sure you used to be one hell of a bowler, Josh....I saw signs of it. I do not know exactly how good you were or anything like that, but that doesn't matter. It seems you are not enjoying yourself as much as you did. Use bowling to get back to that point. Join a no-tap league, bowl left handed for awhile....talk to the manager of a bowling center and set up some of those trick shots they showed on ESPN. Just do anything different than the normal ho hum league.
I know one year I was extremely close to not coming back to bowl the following year here at LU. I joined a no tap league during the summer break and rediscovered my passion for the game. It made it fun again.
What Chase said about the girlfriend thing is true too. You can't really love someone else if you don't love yourself first. So don't worry about that. You are young and have time for that.
He is also right about there being a lot of people that care. I once thought nobody cared about me so I stayed pretty much to myself and out of sight for awhile and when I came back EVERYONE wanted to know what happened and where I had been. It was really moving. When I got my arm caught at work over the summer a lot of people called and wanted to make sure I was ok....then when I was in the hospital 3 days this semester when I came back everyone was wanting to make sure I was ok.
Sorry to make that paragraph all about me, but I did it to show you that no matter how unlikely it seems there are a LOT of people that care...even ones you didn't/don't think care.
We are all here for you Josh if you need to, like Chase said stop by or call or whatever. Most of all though, do go get help. Trust me I hate doctors as much as anyone but they do prove useful sometimes. You really have nothing to lose by doing it, as much as I hate saying it you seem about as down as I can ever remember you being.
If you need/want to talk to me let me know I will do what I can to make it happen.
I agree with chase totally...which is why you've probably heard me tell you many of the same things, just not in so many words, a million times before josh...but how many times do you need to hear it before your not just hearing it, but rather listening to what is being said.
you said that everything in your life is going well except for bowling...i beg to differ...because if everything in your life was going well, then your bowling would also pick up. you of all people should know that bowling is mostly a mental game...if you're unhappy outside of the lanes, your time on the lanes is also going to suck. if you're going to get back on track with your physical game, then you need to get back on track with your mental game, and if you're going to get back on track with your mental game, then you need to get back on track, mentally, with your life.
i know sometimes you feel trapped and overwhelmed by many problems that seem to arise all at once...but take them on one at a time...its the only way to make life managable.
just and fyi to everyone out there that has tryed to help me out. My bowling still is horrible and I wish it would get better, but I don't know what else to do at this moment. I should just shut my mouth any more and not air my laundry like don henley did in his song. Anyway I just want to say thank you to all that have helped...but your help was in vain. I'm just tired of everything anymore. I pushed three women out of my life that loved me because of this sport and I really don't want to go through any more of this heartache over this sport. I wish I could just hang up the pink and black linds for good...but something still burns inside. That something is the past and the past was once good to me, and i just keep living my life in my bowling past. I listen to the songs and got me pumped up and it does me no good...now I just get drunk to them wishing things were just as good as they once were. In the Harrisburg area I'm pretty much known as a drunk. All I do is drink on my friday night league. I'm known as the problem the one that can't get over the past. I can't even practice because I have too much **** talked behind my back. Its not even the **** that you can't hear they make sure that you can hear it, on top of staring right at you. You all know how I would give my life for the advancement of this sport to go back to its golden age. I have all but done that and I will never end my life because of this sport. But its a damn shame when a nice guy...(I know you dont think so Jes, but I'm not talking to you)...get taken down to the mat for a sport that overrules his life. There isnt a single minute in my life that wishes I could go back 4 years to change what happened to me. I shot a 300 the day before I hopped on a plane to Reno to work for Ebonite in June of 2001...ever since then in Reno I havent been the same bowler in Pikeville, Lindenwood or in Harrisburg. I was even called a hasbeen in Pikeville at the age 18. I'm just tired anymore...as much as I try to walk away from the sport it follows me because of the rings i bear on my fingers. I can't take them off because they remind me of the past...remind me when things were good in my life...I want you all to know that I have too much to waste on taking my life. Am I depressed...hell yeah I am...do I want pity no...all I want is someone to hear me and someone to understand...but no one ever understands a hasbeen at the age of 22...
I love you all like brothers and sisters and all of you will be invited to my wedding if and when I get married...
Joshua W. Smith
__________________
you know who i am and if ya don't well then ya dont know me
You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. That's the biggest obstable in your life... you'll realize it soon enough.
Until then, take it one moment at a time... and stop taking life so seriousely in the mean-time.
Nobody knows for sure.
__________________
"Changing bowling balls is like peeing your pants in the cold. The warm feeling you have at first will eventually be overcome with an even chillier stink."
TheBigSnatch wrote: You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. That's the biggest obstable in your life... you'll realize it soon enough.
Until then, take it one moment at a time... and stop taking life so seriousely in the mean-time.
Nobody knows for sure.
Outstanding advice from our philosophical genius....the Cat. Heed this advice everyone it really is wise, I am not being a smartass on this one (for a change). Who cares what everyone else thinks? The only person that really matters is ourself!!!! Kinda surprised nobody had said this directly yet.
I just don't honestly see the point in this thread. You know we are all here for you Josh. We will listen and give you advice. Up to you if you want to heed it or not.
As for why not coming out and directly stating that Hoop...hmmm maybe because I figured it was a lesson a 22 year old would have learned already.
One more thing to add....an idea perhaps. Why not get a pet? Or find a way to focus your attention on something instead of drowning in things you cannot control? Or drowning yourself in other ways everyday? We all still love you "PANCAKES" (Sorry we were just talking about that movie)
