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Post Info TOPIC: a poem for my lizzy


Protect & Serve

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a poem for my lizzy


Lizzy... youre like a chair
Lizzy... you have lots of hair
Lizzy... yeah even down there
Lizzy... maybe you should use nare
Lizzy... its ok, no one cares
Lizzy... you glow like a flair
Lizzy... your skin is quite fair
Lizzy... your butts as tight as a snare
Lizzy... but you somehow pooped out a pear
Lizzy... youre taller than a kodiak bear
Lizzy... so dont be scared of Blair (Witch)
Lizzy... we're such an odd pair
Lizzy... but together we're like Sonny & Cher
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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"You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls." --Stephen Colbert


So L33T It Hurts

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Somehow every night I ended up in your dorm room


There I always found Shea and G's broom


Every now and then I brought it to mine


Twas used to sweep away dust, dirt, and grime


Often I wondered why you never let it go


Pondering, wondering, thinking about it slow


One night no different than others I kicked open you door


I saw you with back up and belly down on the floor


Erect I saw the broom with the bristles up high


Down low I saw the handle wedged deep in your thighs


I said, "It's 2005.  I don't judge nobody.


But I'm so going over to tell Shea and G-Money."


Rumors were buzzing and flying like flies


And I still had that image burned into my eyes


For telling the truth he'll bang my head on a wall


Chase, have a nice summer and I'll see you in the fall



-- Edited by J Lowe at 02:00, 2005-06-18

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Protect & Serve

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His name was Jason Lowe
He was hung like a gerbils toe
He said he once shaved his sisters butt
Shadow wanted pics, but Jlowe said keep it shut
Instead Jlowe flashed his pearly nips
And Chad watched nervously while playing with poker chips
Later that night Jason plugged in his 5ft Easter bunny
Gave it a hug and called it honey
2minutes later, it was on his bed with its cottontail up
As I walked through the door, Jason covered himself with a cup
I promised I wouldnt say a word
For J Lowes rep could become equal to a turd
But instead I took pics of the naked Jew
And posted them on my photos page on Yahoo!
Some time passed
And Shadow still wanted to see her shaved a**
Jason finally showed us his ghetto sister in the shower
And we didnt see Shadow for many many hours
moral of the story is
never have sex with a jew
otherwise, you might have a kid too


-- Edited by F0RUM JESuS at 04:50, 2005-06-18

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"You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls." --Stephen Colbert


Obsessive Posting Disorder

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FOr what it's worth, here is what i think about those, as told by the people at Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy


 


"Oh ... and er ... interesting rhythmic devices too," continued
Arthur, "which seemed to counterpoint the ... er ... er ..." He
floundered.

Ford leaped to his rescue, hazarding "counterpoint the surrealism
of the underlying metaphor of the ... er ..." He floundered too,
but Arthur was ready again.

"... humanity of the ..."

"Vogonity," Ford hissed at him.

"Ah yes, Vogonity (sorry) of the poet's compassionate soul,"
Arthur felt he was on a home stretch now, "which contrives
through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this,
transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental
dichotomies of the other," (he was reaching a triumphant
crescendo ...) "and one is left with a profound and vivid insight
into ... into ... er ..." (... which suddenly gave out on him.)
Ford leaped in with the coup de gr@ce:

"Into whatever it was the poem was about!"



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"one skin, two skin, three skin, four sk.."


Obsessive Posting Disorder

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I'm da bestest EVAH!

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So L33T It Hurts

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All kinds of LOLing

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So L33T It Hurts

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Tim was a man of very few words


On the flipside he made a ****-ton of turds


Pinching off so many his ass was way buff


Flushing one time was never enough


Many a toilet Tim Jim did clog


The hot steamy water created a fog


A fog so dense clammy that is rose to the roof


Pictures I took so I would have proof


Often this happened so I filled up a binder


With each picture I took the flash made Tim blinder


Last week he said he walked into a wall


Then down a staircase he proceeded to fall


In a hospital bed he awoke to find himself


Looking around he saw the Jade Monkey on a shelf


Felling relaxed Tim closed his eyes


The next time he opened them he was super suprised


The Jade Monkey was upon him holding a plastic bag


Around Tim's head he wrapped it untill his breath did lag


Tim is dead now; just ask Suzy


Don't be suprised if she gets all woozy


This poem has totally gotten away from me


So the time has now come for me to go pee


 



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Posting Guru

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j lowe flailed many a time


more times than on the previous posts he did rhyme


but even more so he did fart


the gasses released making everyone feel like a retard


 


the windows would open


and the comments would fly


how could j lowe be such a jewish, flailing, ass stinky guy?


it wasn't his homework


it wasn't his spinny ball,


it wasn't what he ate


it wasn't anything like that at all,


 


what could it be then making all of these toxic fumes pass?


after all has been said and done


it was the baby on the way making this gas...


perhaps he is nervous


perhaps its because he is a jew


but at any rate on this fathers day...


j lowe, this fart's for you.


 



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So L33T It Hurts

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Makes perfect "scents" to me
Har har har

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Posting Guru

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Wow....didn't know we had so many poets

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Hoop When will all the rhetorical questions end?


Posting Guru

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you'd probably would have noticed, but its hard to do that when you're hibernating.

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