Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Actual newsletter sent out by a Church


Protect & Serve

Status: Offline
Posts: 741
Date:
Actual newsletter sent out by a Church


This came from Colorado & this is so ridiculous you cant help but laugh. I picked this out of my friends blog entry because its so insane. According to this list we are pretty much one with teh Satan. No offense to you Christians out there, but this is absolutely retarded! please read the whole thing. it gets better the deeper you go. Example... According to this list, eating Count Chocula cereal is a gateway into worshipping satan or your transformation into a goth. lick my butt.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsletter sent out by a church in Colorado Springs (got goth?)

This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

__________________
"You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls." --Stephen Colbert


So L33T It Hurts

Status: Offline
Posts: 1153
Date:

JUDAISM GO!!

__________________


Obsessive Posting Disorder

Status: Offline
Posts: 532
Date:

my fave is "CLaims to be a Goth", duh you think that might be a sign, huh?

__________________
"one skin, two skin, three skin, four sk.."


Posting Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 443
Date:

I want someone to point out 10 people who don't have at least 5 of those true about them......I am a Christian and I agree that it ridiculous.

__________________
Hoop When will all the rhetorical questions end?


Obsessive Posting Disorder

Status: Offline
Posts: 744
Date:

Wow I'm so goth. I can see how 20 of those things apply to me. I must seek mental help IMMEDIATELY because I'm so ECCENTRIC.


"stupid is as stupid does" way to spread the 'good' word.

__________________


Protect & Serve

Status: Offline
Posts: 741
Date:

Hoop my friend that posted this in his blog is a christian... & I'd c&p everything he said about it but the censors would make it incorherent..point is he disagreed with it :o)

& i'm not assuming every christian is like that. i have many christian friends & i used to be a christian myself. 40% of the "devil music" i own is actually christian. i just think these fellows are a couple apples short of a fruit basket.

i'd say a good 14-17 of these do apply to me... & ironically, i make fun of the gothic lifestyle at every chance i get. if you've ever walked with me around the mall, you'd know one of my least favorite people are the "Mansonites" ...but yet this list right here tells me im goth.



__________________
"You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls." --Stephen Colbert


Posting Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 429
Date:

Interesting...can I be a goth at 48 y/o? Heck, even Don Helling fits that catagory...

__________________


Obsessive Posting Disorder

Status: Offline
Posts: 744
Date:

Not to offend anyone....but this is funny. Plus if I was a christian I wouldn't support TV preachers anyways....he doesn't have a collar so meh. Enjoy.

Gaseous

__________________


Regular

Status: Offline
Posts: 29
Date:

Are they serious????? Damn guess I"m SOL

__________________
Me, I'm dishonest and an dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the hoenst ones you want to look out for becuase you never know when they're going to do something...incredibly.... stupid..- Jack Sparrow
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard